what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
