It's like God shit irony all over that family
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
