when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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