Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
