sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
someone threw a dead crab at me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize