You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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