you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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