he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
