It's Friday. Sex?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
that may or may not have been my penis.
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