just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
