Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize