The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
