I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
