Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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