Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm at about main and main street
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
