Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
