oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
