what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
