okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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