My first STD was from a foam party
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
