Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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