She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
