Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
