What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
