that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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