She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize