I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
