i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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