I hate your face
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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