They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
