there was a trapeze. enough said
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
