...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
