im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
