I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
