just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
