I accidentally burped into my bong.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize