Don't you send me to vm
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
