If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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