what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
