i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
