Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
