My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
