is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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