How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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