i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
