My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
