I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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