Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
