I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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