Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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