white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
