That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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