tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Enjoy the penises
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
