you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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