...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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