no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
