yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how can u be prego again
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
True strength comes from lack of pants
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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