Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
