if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
